Blinded by 11 Questions
Disability| Humor
I was researching different ideas regarding blindness on Google when those “people also ask” questions came up. I started reading them. Then I started laughing. For me, these are amazingly ridiculous questions. So ridiculous, in fact, I couldn’t help but create this post with my own answers. Please note: these answers are only mine and are meant to be humorous. I am only talking about my own experiences. Other visually impaired or blind people will have their own thoughts.
1. What does a blind person do when bored?
Entertain myself, of course. I find the best thing to do when at the store and listening to my mostly-grown children fight over which cereal we should buy is to just…wander away. I count the seconds until they finally notice they are alone. Silence. Then I laugh as the fight turns into who has to come find me this time. By then, I have made friends with the person in the next aisle who has no idea what to do with me.
2. How do blind people track money?
All of those years of folding origami have come in handy. I save $50 bills for the complicated elephants.
3. How do you make a blind person happy?
Starbucks. Always Starbucks. 4 shots of espresso, 2 pumps chestnut praline, half and half, and a tad bit of ice. Perfection!
4. What should you not say to a blind person?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Really?! That is NOT a sighted person’s card to play. That’s MY line!
5. What do blind people need?
To quote the Beatles, “All we need is love.”
6. What activities can a blind person do?
So far, I have fallen down stairs at a movie theater, fallen down stairs at a rock concert, fallen down 2 steps at the mall — which was embarrassing. I’ve fallen down my back porch steps into snow. I fall like an expert.
7. What do you do when you see a blind person?
If you see me, you should probably run. I will indubitably have something with which you can help. The kids go still and silent like rabbits when I walk into a room. No worries; I can always sense their fear.
8. What can blind people do to make money?
If you have any ideas, let me know. I’m still trying to figure that out.
9. What can a blind person not do?
Legally, I can’t drive. Physically, I cannot read a print book. Biologically, I refuse to pee standing up.
10. How do blind people keep time?
As of now, I still have my hearing so I am an obsessive clock watcher. The kids get tired of hearing, “Alexa, what time is it?” Or if I’m in the bedroom, “Amazon, what time is it?” Or if I’m watching tv, “Echo, what time is it?”
11. How do you motivate a blind person?
This will be my only serious answer but only because I couldn’t think of anything witty. My children keep me going. I thank goodness for them.
In Conclusion
I am not an alien from another planet. My issues may be different than yours, but my singing is just as off key. My laugh is just as boisterous. And my homemade cinnamon oatmeal dark chocolate cranberry cookies may even be a tad better than yours. I’m willing to participate in a taste test to decide.
