Emotional Maturity In A Microcosm

Post-Covid, you find that people have forgotten how to be decent human beings in public spaces. Do you now dread being out with other people around because of the snide comments you hear which are a little too loud on purpose? Even more surprisingly, Do you find yourself turning to say something just as cruel back when, two years ago, you would have just brushed it off? After so much social isolation this has become a large problem in our now endemic world. As one person, you cannot control what other people say or do, but you do have power over your own actions and words. This is the time to remember, bring back out, dust off, and wield your emotional maturity like a superhero. What is emotional maturity? In very brief layman’s terms, emotional maturity is the ability to control your own emotions and expressions. In other words, observe first rather than just react without thought. For example, think of yourself in the microcosm of a grocery store in the following three situations.

The Solicitor

Before you even make it in the door, an overeager puppy of a person is rushing up to you. Do you want Girl Scout cookies? Join our church! Donate to a club? This puppy doesn’t know who you are from the next person so there is no need to be rude when walking past. However, he continues to follow you for several more steps before getting the idea that you just aren’t interested. By the time you clear the doors and are standing inside, you realize you are annoyed. Emotional maturity has you stop right there and take back control of your emotions. Why should a salesman ruin your trip. Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and let it out slowly. Feel the annoyance slide off of you like water off of a duck’s back. Otherwise you will be walking around aisles just looking for someone else to annoy you so you can bite back.

The Deli Girl

Now the deli girl is staring at you. She is due for her break and the deli is, like many other places, understaffed. You feel anxiety building in your chest as you look around at the three other people waiting. Call upon your emotional maturity! Recognize that situations like these where there is pressure to perform and move on to keep the line moving is a trigger leading to decisions you may regret later. You have every right to be in line and take the time you need to choose the deli items you actually want and not the first things you see just to get out of that spot. Don’t just yell out “olive loaf!” because the green caught your eye, but ask nicely for a pound of that beautiful honey turkey.

The Cashier

The employee at the register doesn’t handle your purchases kindly. You are actually afraid for the eggs at the end of the conveyor belt. You see her emotional maturity is completely gone. Understand that you are only able to control your own emotions but you can sympathize with other’s emotions. Try to make some lighthearted small talk so the employee will focus on the transaction and remember she is dealing with a person. She may even smile before you walk away.

Once Out Of The Store

Back in the car you smile to yourself. You are not part of a timeshare, there will be delicious honey turkey sandwiches for lunch, and the eggs are nestled safely in the front seat. You realize you are still calm, still in a good mood, and have survived another trip out into public. Because you are aware of and using your emotional maturity to its highest potential, you are able to rise above all of the situations which could have brought you down for the day.