Grocery Store Bucket List
Are you bored in your grocery store? Let me share my grocery store bucket list with you.
1. Frozen Turkey Bowling
I have wanted to do this ever since I read Christopher Moore’s book, Bloodsucking Fiends — the first in a trilogy of love, vampires, and turkey bowling. I just need to figure out what I’m going to use for pins…?
2. Conveyor Belt Surfing
I wonder how much weight that belt will hold.
3. Subliminal Messaging
· Frozen fries next to ice cream
· Oreos next to slices of cheddar cheese
· Salsa next to rice crispy snacks
· Fritos next to cottage cheese
4. Happy Cheese
Think about all of those bags of shredded cheese, just uselessly hanging there. Tetris them into the correct sequences and you have a cheddar variety smile against a mozzarella, provolone, Italian cheese blend background!
5. Paper Fort in the back forty
Toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, tissue boxes — these create a perfect fort. Luckily, in my local mom and pop store, they are all located in a back add-on room which doesn’t see much traffic. I will be surrounded by walls of 3-ply, select-a-sizes, and aloe for moisturizing when they come to drag me away!
It’s All Entertainment
You can send your shopping tribe away on different errands in the store so you alone accomplish these bucket list items. Or make your tribe all pinky swear and become your partners-in-crime. Just remember the point is to make someone smile.
