When Story and Lie Approach You in a Bar
It’s just another night in the windy city. You don’t complain as you sit in this bar and nurse your Jameson, two fingers, neat. Chloe the hound dog lies under your table. Strictly speaking she’s not really a support animal, but she’s been here longer than the barkeep. As the owner and you go way back…well, Chloe lies under the table.
The Approach
You watch the two of them approach your table. You knew they would. They’ve been eyeing you since they got here. Each ordered a beer, but who is who? It’s so hard to tell these days.
“May we sit?” The one asks.
You look up at them with a smirk. “The Story and the Lie,” you say. “What do you want with me?”
They eye each other and sit in pole backed chairs, no longer waiting for your invitation.
Chloe growls low in the back of her throat.
The Proposal
“My friend here,” begins the one with the deep chocolate eyes that could peek into your soul and see only beauty, points at the other, “Thinks you would do well with some entertainment.”
“Does he?” you question. You sip your whiskey and motion to the barkeep for another. He has been watching with some trepidation. It’s sweet that he cares.
“My brother,” begins the one with eyes like clear chips of blue diamonds on a necklace which could easily drape around your exposed throat. He is staring distractedly and untrustingly at Chloe under the table. He refocuses. “He said it would only be polite to give you a choice.”
“Between the two of you?” you ask dryly. “I’m honored.”
“You already know who we are. Story and Lie. The question is: who is who?”
“I was wondering,” you say, agreeably enough.
“That’s what we thought,” continues Brown Eyes, eagerly, “So we’ve decided on a challenge. Winner takes you home.”
“Really? I don’t get a say?” you wonder.
“Each of us will tell a tale. You decide which is the story and which is the lie. If you get it right, you can pick between the two of us. If you get it wrong, we’ll decide.”
“Charming,” I say. “But let me stop you right there. I can already call this.”
The two look at each other, uncertainly.
The barkeep delivers my new Jameson, still 2 fingers, still neat. He stoops to give Chloe a pat, then slowly walks away. He tries not to look back. He fails.
The Truth
“You are both liars,” you say.
They stop looking at each other as their eyes get bigger. They begin to stammer.
“Wh-what?” Says Blue Eyes.
“How did you know?” Gives away Brown Eyes.
“It’s not entertainment when there is something to be gained,” you say.
The Liars continue staring.
You sigh and slow down your speech as if talking to 5-year olds. “No matter how beautifully spun the story or how brilliantly convincing the lie, the truth is they both would have been lies. Your objective is not to entertain. Your objective is to win. For that, you have to say whatever it takes. Therefore, you lie to arrive victorious at the end.”
You knock back your whiskey. The silence fills the table like a full 7-course banquet.
“I choose neither of you.”
“I can’t believe she called it,” says Brown Eyes.
Before we even tried, finishes Blue Eyes.
You raise your glass to them and send them on their way. They don’t even finish their beers. They just leave the bar.
Chloe chuffs her approval from under the table. You reach down to pat her head.
That’s right, girl. “It’s better to be alone than with a liar.”
The Last Call
It’s time to go. You walk your own glass up to the bar so the barkeep doesn’t have to come to you.
“I was a little concerned there,” admits the barkeep.
“They were harmless,” you say as Chloe walks up next to you and sits. “You just have to call them out before they get going.”
“I can’t believe you knew who they were,” he says curiously.
You shrug and head for the door. “”It takes one to know one.”
“Wait!” calls the barkeep, “Are you a story or a lie?”
You smile. “I’m an actor. I can be either.”
Author’s Note: This little narrative was inspired by John Steinbeck’s line in East of Eden. “I think the difference between a lie and a story is that the story utilizes all of the trappings and appearance of truth for the interest of the reader as well as for the teller. A story has in it neither gain nor loss. But a lie is a device for profit or escape.”
