Where Are Your Shoulders?

Opening Yourself Up

Heather Lee
2 min readApr 4, 2023
10 teenagers stand in a group smiling for a photo. There are 5 girls and 5 boys, all dressed in different colored dresses and tuxes.
Photo taken by Friend

A few years ago, during a homecoming photo shoot with a large group of teenagers dressed to the 9’s and feeling fancy, the photographer took a moment to address the group.

“Shoulders back, people,” she said.

And that was all it took.

With screens and video games and homework on tables, we have become used to slouching over our work, our entertainment, our lives. Unfortunately, this posture does not show us at our best.

Imagine a person hunched over. What do you see? Does that stance bring to mind the Shakespearian witches bending over their cauldron of trouble? Do you think of the apple selling hag in Snow White? Can you picture a greedy Scrooge protecting his money?

Slouching down in a seat or crouching over a treasure — this body language shuts you off from the world and the people in it. You become unapproachable. Then you wonder why you don’t have friends.

So ask yourself, where are your shoulders? Adjusting that one body part will readjust your entire stance. The shoulders set easily over and aligned with the hips will naturally bring your head up. You will be able to make eye contact with people. Smiles will follow. Conversations will start.

And for that gaggle of excited homecoming teens, their evening began on a bright confident high with the pictures to prove such.

Slouching does not invite friendliness or openness. Nor does bad posture promote good health. Instead, this slouching shuts you down from other people. Your stance tells people to “keep on walking.”

With the shoulders lined up over the hips and your head up, your posture opens you up to interactions which may have otherwise eluded you.

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Heather Lee
Heather Lee

Written by Heather Lee

One white cane in a sighted world

Responses (3)

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Exactly. Being tall it was hard for me to stand up straight. I didn’t want to tower over ppl. Now I’ve shrunk a bit and fit it better. Thx for this reminder to stand up straight.

20

Does that stance bring to mind the Shakespearian witches bending over their cauldron of trouble?

I love some of the ways you described how people look when there are hunched over!
I do worry about younger generations and how they grew up staring at screens.
Looking approachable really does affect how people behave, and I need to remember this.

35

You are so right about this.
I am constantly being told off about slouching.
But isn't this what a wife is for?
Thank you for reminding me of my slouching.

34