Where Will Christmas Be This Year? A Family Drama
When the family gathers for Thanksgiving, Great Aunt Julie strikes — where will Christmas be held? Ever the overachiever at planning, Julie has a record of every house, which year was hosted by whom, who was there, what was served, and what she received as gifts. Everyone needs to be considered. Those who held parties last year can’t hold this year. That would be inconsiderate and unfair to the rest of us who, in Great Aunt Julie’s eyes, can’t wait to host a celebration of family. Great Aunt Julie held last year and secretly wishes she would be deemed the annual holiday house, but she is a stickler for rules — especially those she made up herself — so the carving knife must be passed on to an unwilling family member. The question is: who will sacrifice themselves for Great Aunt Julie’s need to know now? With beloved pen and blank page for this year’s list in hand, Julie looks at everyone with expectant eyes. Her family looks back at her like deer caught in headlights of an approaching semi-truck.
Great Aunt Julie
She is the one who started this whole decision making push. She started before Halloween when everyone was just happy that the weather was still warm enough to be outside without a jacket. No one really gave her questions any thought. Now, however, it is Thanksgiving and she is starting to show some stress ticks from the family’s lack of decisiveness. Her laugh is a little too shrill. Her left eye twitches. You’ve never seen her pull out this much hair before.
Grandma and Grandpa Jones
For 40 years, Christmas day has been at their house. This year they decided to remodel the kitchen. They have grudgingly released the holiday. They are very focused on surviving the bulldozer, workers and the stress of dealing with each other without a kitchen. Now not only does Great Aunt Julie have to figure out where Christmas Eve will be, but it can’t be the same place as Christmas day.
Cousin Daphne
Daphne and family have been trying to get out of Christmas with the entire family for years. For the last two years they claimed Covid. This year, they are watching the indecisiveness with glee. If no decision is made until the last minute they can claim they already have other plans.
Cousin Alice
Just when Great Aunt Julie is starting to look glassy eyed due to everyone’s unwillingness to offer up their houses, Alice swoops in with an olive branch. She will host Christmas Day. The rest of us breathe a sigh of relief. The twitch at the corner of Great Aunt Julie’s left eye slows down a little.
The Wisconsin families
Great Aunt Julie reached out to the three Wisconsin families on Halloween day. They aren’t stupid. They know where her questions are going. None of them want to be responsible for making an Illinois family member host the party. Julie reports on Thanksgiving how disappointed she is that everyone in Wisconsin has decided to stay home for Christmas this year.
You
For once, being the black sheep of the family comes in handy. With a teeny tiny house and Chloe the hound who hates all people, you don’t even make it onto the “possible locations” list. Because of this, you are more than happy to point at other people’s houses which are available. In your head you are cackling wildly and extremely entertained by the discomfort on everyone else’s faces.
If You Don’t Show, You Can’t Protest
Uncle Kevin and Aunt Sally decided to vacation in Ireland over the Thanksgiving holiday. You feel no guilt whatsoever in offering their house for Christmas Eve just like Grandpa Jones offers up the turkey for the Thanksgiving feast. Great Aunt Julie begins to breathe regularly again. Her eye stops twitching. Her hair may grow back. As everyone clasps hands to pray over the blessings of the last year, you whisper your own silent prayer that Uncle Kevin and Aunt Sally will forgive you. If they don’t, you will find out at Easter.
